


Louisa's Angels

by 396Ayumu, einsKai, ShionsTear



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: "I have a plan" "not again", Action, Alternate Universe - Angels, Collaboration, Gen, Heroes, Humor, Jewel heist, The Ultimate Question of Life the Universe and Everything is "how many pages to this fic's doc?", just some zool shenangans (not a 100k monster), plans gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21963916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/396Ayumu/pseuds/396Ayumu, https://archiveofourown.org/users/einsKai/pseuds/einsKai, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShionsTear/pseuds/ShionsTear
Summary: "I lost a bet.""Oh, Tora..."“What is it that the loser has to do then?”"We gotta spend 24 hours in the human world."“…wait did you saywehave to spe---“
Relationships: Inumaru Touma & Isumi Haruka & Midou Torao & Natsume Minami, Izumi Iori & Yotsuba Tamaki
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	Louisa's Angels

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas!
> 
> [Last year](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17137796) we were crazy enough to think that not seeing what the others wrote would be a good idea. This year we could actually read stuff! (hence the missing 'crack' tag)
> 
> However there was a new twist: Ayumu made an algorithm that randomly generated three words that had to be used every day. We actually have a coherent story! (with some interesting twists... because other than 'hey let's write about zool' we didn't communicate)
> 
> We hope you have fun reading!
> 
> Ayumu, Kai, and Shion

“Hey, Minami?”

“Yes, Touma?” the angel answered, not moving his gaze away from the book he was reading.

“Why is Torao gnashing his teeth like that? He seems really angry for some reason.”

“Is he?” he asked, finally raising his head and looking around, “ah, it appears to be true,” he said after noticing Torao flying nearer, an angry expression on his face. He sat down on a white chair next to Minami and crossed his arms, “did something happen?”

“I lost a bet,” Torao pouted. 

“So nothing new then,” Minami sighed and returned to his reading.

“Phew, I thought it was something more important,” Touma sighed in relief.

“What do you mean more important!?”

“Who was it this time?”

“Bishamonten.”

“You bet against Bishamonten-sama!?”

“My, you sure have no shame,” Minami chuckled.

“Hmph. It was his fault to begin with. He was riling me up.”

“So why did you lose?” Touma asked curiously.

“We bet on how much an angel feather would weigh.”

“And?”

“It’s about seven fifteenths of a gram.”

“And what did he say?”

“About seven fifteenths of a gram.”

“So he knew and tricked you.”

“That’s my guess, yeah.”

“Oh Tora…”

“Well it is nothing new for you to lose bets, though it is rather refreshing that your opponent this time was someone as important as Bishamonten-sama,” Minami joined in on the conversation, “what is it that the loser has to do then?”

“Oh, yeah,” Torao sighed, “we gotta spend 24 hours in the human world.”

“Ehh…” Touma leaned back, “that sounds tough.”

“Hey,” a fourth angel appeared and floated in front of the other three.

“Haruka, what are you doing here?” Torao asked.

“Dunno. Was told to find you? Did something happen?”

“Yes, Tora lost a bet and…” he stopped mid-sentence and replayed an earlier moment in his mind, “…wait did you say _we_ have to spe---“ but before he could finish what he was about to say, the four angels vanished in an instant.

“---nd 24 hours in the human…” Touma blinked and noticed the change of scenery. White clouds were nowhere to be seen anymore, but instead various trees covered with snow. The four were standing on the ground, bare feet in the snow, “…world….”

“Wha… Where are we!? What just happened!?” Haruka asked frantically.

“It appears we’re in the human world,” Minami said calmly as he looked around, “hmm, it’s been a few centuries since I was here last time.”

“Me too," Torao nodded.

“In the human world!? I was never here before! I only read about it!” Haruka seemed somewhat excited.

“Excuse me, why are you all just accepting this!? Tora! Why did you include _us_ in your bet!?”

“Well in the event of my loss, I thought this would make for a fun memory,” he laughed.

“I just…” Touma sighed, “okay, fine. Not like we can change this.”

“You said 24 hours, correct?” Minami asked.

“Yeah.”

“Alright. I suggest we go get other clothing first. I doubt these robes will keep us warm in this weath---“

“Ahh!!” Haruka exclaimed suddenly and pointed at Minami’s head, “your aureole is gone! And yours too!”

“Oh, you’re right.”

“…hah…” Touma sighed again.

“It seems we’ll have to spend the next 24 hours as humans.”

“Cool,” Torao grinned.

“So, clothes, right? Let’s go over there, then,” Haruka pointed towards a random direction. All they could see around them was snow, trees, and more snow and trees.

“Alright,” Minami agreed.

And so, the four angels strolled through the forest. It was a pretty bizarre sight. They were dressed as if they were evacuated from their house in the middle of the night, but, despite that, they carried on calmly and chatted without worry. Fortunately or unfortunately, there was nobody else around to see them.

“Huh? No way,” Torao complained, “those kinds of clothes don’t suit us. We should find something else.”

“Like what?” Haruka asked. He’d thought his suggestion had been pretty good.

“Face covered with a mask, a cape dancing in the sky, the coolest outfits in human history!”

“Ohh!”

“Then we’ll only need secret headsets with mouthpieces to talk to Louisa and we’re set!”

“Who’s Louisa?” Touma asked.

Torao did not answer and continued to try and convince Haruka that the best kind of human clothing was, indeed, a superhero outfit.

“Hey, are we really doing this?” Haruka was unsure, so he turned to Minami and asked.

“Fufu, I’m alright with Torao wearing one of those. They’re quite tight-fitting and daring.”

“Hey, you guys, don’t ignore me! Who’s Louisa!?” Touma insisted.

“A friend,” Torao grinned.

“Yes, she’s a friend," Haruka confirmed.

“She is indeed a friend," Minami laughed softly.

“Wha…” Touma was bewildered, but suspicious. “R-really?”

“Yes, her instrumental solos are pretty amazing, you know. Perfect for going undercover at parties," Torao explained.

“Heeh, that’s really something. What does she play?”

“The harmonica," Minami answered.

“The harmonica?!” Touma was confused again.

As they talked, the trees around them became more and more sparse, and they could now see a clear path in front of them. The forest was behind them.

They found themselves in the middle of a park. Cleanly cut shrubs and neat footpaths, freed of snow, laid in front of them.

Haruka was watching everything wide-eyed. It _was_ his first time in the human world after all.

“Ah!" he said excitedly and pointed forward at something. “Is that a mosquito?”

The rest of the un-angelled angels followed the point of his finger and found a single, feathery creature hopping towards some seeds on the floor.

“…I am afraid that this is, in fact, not a mosquito," Minami said as gently as humanly (angely?) possible.

“It’s a bird," Torao added.

“Duh," Touma said.

Haruka pouted. “How was I supposed to know?! It has wings and looks kinda pokey at the head. I bet Touma was too stupid to tell a bird from a mosquito too when he came to the human world for the first time! That idiot!”

“I can tell a bird from a mosquito!" Touma yelled, his ears flushing red in agitation. “I’m real good at telling apart mortal world stuff!”

“Oh really? Tell me then, what’s the real difference between a mosquito and a bird, huh?”

Someone cleared their throat behind them.

“Sirs, excuse me, but–“

“What are you guys doing out in the cold, dressed like that?!" someone interrupted the first interrupter. “I’m turning into a popsicle just looking at you!”

“Yotsuba-san, you shouldn’t be talking to them like that…”

“Who are you?" Touma asked the two men. They were dressed oddly. They didn’t exactly get the high fashion in heaven. Humans didn’t usually dress up to die. They just wore whatever clothes they were wearing when it happened. Heaven really had a lot of drabs.

Either way, the angels had never seen these black uniforms and hats before.

“Well, of course we are the protectors of the citizenry," the first one spoke again.

A sharp inhale from Torao.

“Heroes.”

“…no, Torao, I would assume that these gentlemen are police officers. Am I correct?" Minami asked.

The one the first one had called ‘Yotsuba-san’ grinned and nodded. “Yup! Me and Iorin are policemen! Ain’t that cool?”

Both ‘Iorin’ and ‘Yotsuba-san’ didn’t seem to notice how odd it was for a group of four young men to not know a police officer when they saw one.

“Answer my question," ‘Iorin’ said, “what are you doing out here? In this getup?”

Haruka was the fastest.

“Uh… we’re playing dress-up," he said, “we’re…”

He was stuck, but ‘Yotsuba-san’ saved them.

“Actors?" he asked. “Iorin, I bet they’re in a Christmas play, Aya was in one too once!”

“Ah… but why do they send their actors out into a park? In the snow? In clothes that," ‘Iorin’ coughed again, “…lack opacity. It’s indecent.”

“Whatever, they’re not committing a crime! Good luck with your play!" ‘Yotsuba-san’ said and began dragging his partner off. “Break your neck! Or whatever they say!”

A faint “It’s ‘break a leg’, Yotsuba-san!” was the last they heard of the police officers.

“I wanted to go with superheroes as our cover for the day but actors could be fun too," Torao nodded.

“Actors, hm?” Minami said to himself and started thinking. “well in any case, that Iorin-san was right. We should find more suitable clothes.”

“Wait, how do we even buy them?” Touma asked and they noticed their biggest problem. No one had any money with them. But instead of staying in the park and thinking about what they didn’t have, they decided to keep walking and think about what they could do.

Only a few minutes later they got to a street that seemed to have various shops lined up next to each other. Due to the fact that there weren’t that many other people walking around, the peculiar group of four drew more attention to themselves than they would’ve liked. But that just gave Minami an idea.

“Let’s perform a street act.”

“A what?” Haruka tilted his head in confusion.

“An improvised short play or sketch. If we’re ‘actors’ then we can use that to earn some money.”

“You think that’ll be enough to buy clothes?” Torao wondered.

“Do you have any better ideas?”

“…”

“Figures. Alright, then let’s---“

“Mina wait! We’re not actors, what should we even do?”

“We can use some archetypes as a basis.”

“…”

“I take it from your silence that none of you three know what those are, yes? Fine, I shall explain it to you," he did as he said and after a short argument as to who got to play whom, they were ready to start their street act.

“In times like these I wish I were pudgier," Touma said and shivered, he was finally feeling the cold.

“…what," Torao exclaimed in disbelief.

“Well, then I wouldn’t freeze and---“

“Touma, please start the act," Minami whispered.

“Fine!” he clapped his cheeks a few times and the four started their impromptu sketch. After they had finished, the small group of people that had gathered around them clapped their hands and offered them some tips.

“…this won’t be enough," Torao sighed.

“It seems we need another method of---“

“Ahh!!” Haruka yelled all of a sudden.

“H-Haru!?” Touma startled.

“Let’s become singers!”

“What?”

“Look!” his arm was pointing at a poster on the other side of the street. It showed a woman with long, golden tresses in a sparkly red ball gown, holding a microphone. On the bottom of the poster was written in big, flashy letters:

_Do YOU have what it takes to be a star? Participate in the Louisa Grand Prix and find out! Grand money prizes await the first to third place winners. December 24_ _th_ _, 8pm, City Hall._

“…Louisa?” Torao’s eyes widened.

“Is that your friend!?” Touma seemed excited.

“What date and time do we have?” Minami asked.

“Mitsuuuki, it’s almost 8pm! The Kokona Christmas Eve _special_ is about to air, we need to hurry!” a blond young man said as he passed by.

“I know, you’ve been repeating it every ten minutes. We’re on our way home now, right?” the shorter man next to him answered, visibly annoyed.

“How convenient," Touma whispered and the other three nodded in agreement, “let’s go to the City Hall then!”

More nods followed Touma’s words and he started walking towards the City Hall. The street they were on became slightly busier and more colorful as lights hung on the trees and houses on either side. They could even faintly hear Christmas songs in the distance. 

“Ah!” Haruka was still excited when he saw new things. It seemed like he wanted to go in every single shop and house but was restraining himself at the last moment. He gave in very quickly and approached a shop window.

“It’s Santa’s helper!” His eyes were sparkling as he looked at… a home appliance store.

“It’s a roomba," Torao said.

“Uh? Yes, like I said, Santa’s helper.”

“I think I’m not wrong when I say that Santa’s helpers are not roombas but reindeers," Minami added.

“Liar. I read it in a story. How are reindeers supposed to fly anyways? Aren’t they land creatures?”

“And roombas are not?”

“Well, they are, but-”

“See, they are," Torao smugly concluded.

“But they have the Anti Gravity Roomba System!”

“Haruka, I don’t know which story you mean, but in the majority of the books Santa does not have roombas. I’d be glad to read it once we’re back home, though. I’m sure it’s quite amusing," Minami chuckled.

“Hey, uhm, guys? I don’t know how to say this, but…”

“You’re lost," Torao deadpanned.

“You don’t know where the City Hall is, do you?” Minami added.

“Why didn’t you say anything if you knew?!” Touma sighed. “What do we do now?”

“Well, we could-”

A flash of glittering light blinded them for half a second and then vanished as suddenly as it came. A piece of paper drifted down from the sky and Haruka jumped to catch it.

“Dear four idiots,” he read, “please hurry up and find the City Hall. It’s back the way you came from. Really, I thought you had a better sense of direction.”

Haruka lifted his head from the paper and waved it. “Wow, Touma. Amazing.”

“As if you’d have done much better! It’s the first time I’ve been to this place, okay? At least I tried!” Touma grumbled.

“Wait a second, Haruka, isn’t there something written behind it as well?”

Haruka looked at the paper again and flipped it. “P. S. I’m feeling cold just from seeing you dressed like that, so I’ll rent some clothes to you.”

Once he finished reading the sentence, the paper in Haruka’s hand broke down to long pieces that gathered in what seemed like a roll of microfilm. Then, the roll started unwinding and the stripe of paper coiled around the four angels’ wrists. The paper bracelets poofed and, at the same time, their robes transformed into human clothes.

“Wow. That’s convenient," Haruka commented. To him, the birds were a rarer sight.

Torao took a deep breath and declared.

“We… We got a transformation scene!” 

“Huh? But we already transformed earlier. From angels to humans.”

Everyone ignored Touma, because they really didn’t want to start an argument right now. They were running out of time – they had to get to the City Hall as soon as possible.

“Torao, say," Minami and Torao had fallen back and were walking next to each other now, as to not block the path for other pedestrians, “what exactly is the purpose of going to become singers and earn money to buy clothes, now that we have clothes already?”

Torao nodded. “You’re right," he said, because Minami was right, “but I guess Haruka is having fun, so we might as well let him do what he wants. And have fun in the process too.”

Minami hummed in thought. “After this Louisa ordeal we should huddle together and redevelop our plan of our actions on earth.”

They reached the City Hall and thanks to whatever heavenly soul bestowed actual human clothes upon them, they were also let in. Touma and Haruka rushed off to sign the four of them up for the singing competition – separately of course, for higher winning chances.

Minami looked around the entrance hall curiously. An elevator led up, out of the public lower floors, into the office rooms of the mayor and the ministers. A poster proclaimed that in the local exhibition hall there was a fascinating jewel on display, fantastically rare, one of seven, unique to all others but each other. It would end once the month ended. On the other side of the exhibition hall there was a performing area, where the singing contest would most likely be held.

A conversation between an apparent contestant, he had a number pinned to his shirt, and his companion distracted Minami from the structure of the building.

“You’ve never even sang before. Never in your life!" the companion said.

“So what? No time like now.”

“Gaku, I don’t think you understand. You’ll sound like a man dying of caisson disease. You’re going to embarrass yourself publicly.”

“Tenn–“

“Worse, you’re going to embarrass _me_ publicly.”

“Calm down Tenn, I–“

“Ne supra Sobam Gaku iudicant.”

“Don’t start speaking… what even is that? French?”

“Latin, and if you actually go out on that stage and get annihilated by the critics, your ego is going to be just as dead.”

Minami had to suppress a laugh, when Torao suddenly grabbed his arm.

“Hey," he whispered urgently, “you gotta hear this and tell me that I’m not going crazy.”

His expression was weirdly excited, even if serious. Minami followed him without a word as Torao led him towards a corner of the building, far away from the main point of interest, the casting.

“So you know where it is?" a female voice asked.

“Is that…?" Minami whispered.

Torao nodded, a finger raised to his lips, shushing Minami. “Louisa.”

“Yup," a deeper voice replied cheerfully, “we’ve located the bling.”

Another voice added: “And we’ve prepared the distraction.”

“Perfect," Louisa said, with an audibly satisfied grin, “we already have Mi, Fa, La, and Ti. Adding Sol here, we’ll be at five out of seven. We’ll be rolling in money soon…! Good job, guys.”

The three seemed to share a drink of some sort, but Minami could only look at Torao’s face. He could read something delusional, dreamy, but also something determined in his fellow angel’s eyes.

“We have to stop them," Torao said.

Minami grabbed him by his sleeve and pulled him along, putting some distance between Louisa and themselves. He knew that Torao would react like that and wasn’t really surprised, yet at the same time couldn’t believe he’d actually say that out loud.

“Torao, we’re supposed to just somehow spend one day here as humans. Do you think it’s wise to possibly cause a commotion as we try to stop these presumably dangerous thieves from their plan to steal a jewel only because you happened to overhear them?”

“…” he seemed to be in thought.

“…?” Minami waited for an answer.

“…yes," Torao answered determined.

“Oh dear…” Minami sighed.

“Touma! Look at the stage, it looks awesome!” Haruka’s voice resounded in the background.

“Come on, otherwise they’ll be bothering the show. Follow my lead, I have a plan," Torao winked and walked straight towards Louisa and the other two. Minami sighed once more but gave in in the end, he knew he couldn’t change Torao’s mind anymore. The two stepped closer to the thieves and greeted them with smiles on their faces.

“…who are you?” Louisa asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Excuse our late introduction, Miss Louisa. Thank you for holding such a marvellous event tonight. My name is Saruo, and this is my partner Unami, we’re the horticulturists that were entrusted with the stage’s floral decorations," he said confidently. Minami was slightly impressed at this unexpectedly thought through plan.

“I see, thank you for your work," she smiled, “is there anything you need me for?”

“Yes, we’d love to have a moment of your time to inspect them one last time before the show starts.”

“I’m sure they look lovely.”

“They’re sure to pale in comparison to your beauty, Miss Louisa," Torao smiled and gently gave her a kiss on the hand; Minami couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“Oh, my," she chuckled, “I guess I may as well do you the favour then," she turned around to the other two, “guys, make sure that you perform the mounting of our necessary _tools_ on time, yes?”

“Aye, Miss Louisa!” the two nodded and walked away.

“Well then, please lead the way, Mister Saruo," she said and took a sip from her drink.

“As you wish…” Torao smiled and turned around. Minami started walking as well and got closer to him.

“That was impressive," Minami whispered.

“Haha, thanks," he whispered back.

“So what’s next?”

“I have no idea.”

“…”

“Leave it to me.”

“…I fear for what’s to come.”

“Haru! Stop gawking around, you’re the first one on stage, you should get ready!” Touma tried to tell Haruka. Torao, Minami and Louisa reached the stage and stopped in front of it.

“So, Miss Louisa, as you can see, we agreed on having flowers on four different parts of the stage. First, at the sides, we have hydrangeas and geraniums. These will create a sense of harmony with the participants on stage. And, of course, given today’s date, we could not forget Poinsettias, the Christmas flowers.”

Minami watched as Torao rambled about the flower arrangements on stage as if he’d really been the one to plan them. “ _He really surprises people sometimes,"_ he thought.

“And the bouquet for the winner is, of course, made out of our best roses. Only the most beautiful flowers are worthy of you holding them," Torao winked at Louisa, and Minami rolled his eyes again. 

“However, I feel like there’s something lacking in this stage design," Torao continued, “to tell you the truth, it would gain so much more if we could place a jewel on the center of the stage. I was wondering if Miss Louisa had any ideas about finding such a jewel. Or perhaps five of them.”

Minami gave Torao a glance when he heard him being so direct. “ _I shouldn’t have praised him,"_ he turned to look at Louisa and, sure enough, she was eyeing them suspiciously.

“Oh, my, Mister Saruo, I have no idea what you mean. I couldn’t possibly have access to jewels big enough to shine on stage," Louisa smiled.

"Haha, Miss Louisa, at least I know that one such jewel is right in front of me," Torao smiled and continued, “although, I wonder, have you ever heard of the Seven Seas?”

As Torao casually name-dropped the jewels she was trying to steal, Louisa tensed up visibly. “I have. After all, isn’t one of them on display in this very same City Hall? I have no idea why you’d refer to _five_ of the _Seven_ Seas.”

Torao’s response was a smile, and he shot a glance to Minami. The situation was unsalvageable by now, and even if they tried to play it off, Louisa was sure to have marked them. Minami sighed. 

“To tell you the truth, Miss Louisa, we have been tracking your movements for a while. Don’t misunderstand, though, as we made contact to suggest a partnership. After all, we’ve secured Do and Re, and the Seven Seas’ value is higher when they are together, right?”

“My, so that’s what all this was about," Louisa relaxed slightly, “Mister Unami and Mister Saruo, we’d be glad to cooperate with you for this occasion. If you’d like, my companions should be over there, they can fill you in on the plan. Ah, the code phrase is ‘The clew guides the way’ they’ll know we’re allies if you use it.”

Louisa smiled and excused herself. The Grand Prix was about to start and she needed to go on stage.

“That went well," Torao smiled smugly, “what’s a clew anyways?”

“It didn’t go well," Minami answered, “and a clew is an old word for a ball of yarn. It’s said that Theseus escaped the labyrinth of the Minotaur with one. It’s also a part of a sail. It’s quite an elegant keyword for the mission to steal the Seven Seas, I must say.”

Meanwhile, Touma had managed to get Haruka to stay still and prepare to sing. The lights dimmed and a clarion played the town’s tune as Louisa stepped on stage.

“Good evening to all our guests! It is my pleasure to welcome you all to the Louisa Grand Prix! Tonight, we shall figure out which of our contestants’ stages will lead to their rise as stars and which of them are not worth shucks!”

Under the sudden reality of having to perform soon, Touma flinched. The stage lights sure were blinding…

On stage Louisa continued her little introduction speech: “Today we will see whose forebear can proudly look upon their descendant, and whose forebears will emerge from their graves to haunt their descendants, who have sullied their pride with their performance here, at the Louisa Grand Prix!”

“Uwah…" Touma mumbled.

“You don’t have any forebears who could haunt you," Torao, who had arrived at the backstage area now too, reminded him. “You’re an angel.”

“Oh, you’re right," Touma looked relieved, “I kinda forgot about that. Haha!”

“Torao did too," Minami added, “he landed us a gig as jewel heist accomplices/double agents trying to stop the heist.”

“You what?!" Haruka looked like he couldn’t decide if he was surprised, impressed, or angry, “…how.”

“The fifth of the Seven Seas is in this City Hall at the moment," Minami explained, “the event serves as a distraction from other parts of the city hall and our dear ‘Sol’ is going to get nabbed.”

“Ah, makes sense," Haruka nodded as if he had understood, “what is a jewel again?”

“A kind of rock," Torao was quick to answer, “shiny, has mesmerized humans since ancient times. Often possesses great hardness, superior to other materials. Rare, come in various colours–“

“Okay, okay," Touma interrupted him, “jeez, Torao, when did you become a walking dictionary?”

“Yeah, usually all he knows is hero stuff," Haruka nodded.

“Well, you see," Torao smiled a smug smile, sure of his superiority, “in episode 238 of ‘The Hedgehog Hero Once Again, Forever This Time! Revenge Of The Crabby Antagonist Of The Sea – Season 2 The Remake Starring Nikaidou Yamato and Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Electric Boogaloo, Blu-Ray Edition’, there is this scene–“

“Wonderful, Torao," Minami interrupted him. Once again, he wasn’t able to suppress a smile at Torao’s endearing antics, “but we need to discuss our further actions, and –“

“Our first candidate for the evening!" Louisa on stage called. “Dear audience, greet with me: Haruka!”

“Haru, it’s your turn!” Touma exclaimed in excitement, “break a neck!”

“Leg," Minami corrected him.

“Yeah, that!”

“Haruka, try to sing a long song so we have enough time," Torao whispered to him and put a hand on his shoulder, “we believe in you.”

“Got it!” Haruka nodded confidently and stepped onto the stage. Louisa waved him towards her and greeted him.

“Alright, let’s go, Minami.”

“Very well. Touma, please stay here and help Haruka if something goes wrong.”

“You two can count on me," he grinned and turned to the stage. Torao and Minami nodded at each other and headed to where Louisa’s partners in crime were waiting. They saw them standing at the entrance to the jewel exhibition, trying to not look suspicious. After Torao made sure one last time that Minami was ready and quickly looking back to the stage to check if Haruka was doing well, the two approached the accomplices.

Meanwhile on stage, Louisa was asking Haruka some questions before he could sing.

“My, you seem pretty young. How old are you?” she asked.

“My age? I am…” he hadn’t thought about such basic things. Touma showed him a number with his hands and after Haruka glanced at him, he nodded and turned back to Louisa. “I’m 17.”

“Oh dear, so young. How well do you think you’ll do, boy?”

“Hmph," he snatched the microphone out of her hand, “I’m gonna vanquish every last one of you!” he yelled; he’d read that phrase in a book before and always wanted to try say it one day.

“Young _and_ confident, I like that," she laughed, “very well, Haruka. The stage is yours," Louisa clapped a few times and got off the stage. As Haruka started singing, Torao started the next phase of his plan.

“The clew guides the way," he whispered to one of the thieves.

“On the granddaughter’s offshore boat?” the man asked. Taken aback by the sudden question he didn’t know how to react. Minami noticed and intervened immediately.

“Aye aye, sir," he said calmly, trying to not make it sound like a question because he was betting on stereotyped secret codes.

“So you’re one of us, huh?” the other thief said. Torao and Minami exhaled in relief.

“Yup," Torao nodded.

“Alright, follow me," the first one said, “Rodríguez, back us up.”

“Understood, Jacques," the second one answered. Without any further ado, Torao and Minami started following Jacques.

“…I thought the code would be a reference to that myth or something?” Torao whispered as quietly as he could.

“As did I, I wasn’t expecting it to be naval jargon," Minami answered whispering as well.

“Maybe they _really_ like boats.”

“Maybe.”

“Okay, we’re here," Jacques said and stopped.

They had crossed the first room of the exhibition hall without any problems even though it was off hours. The curator was nowhere to be seen, and the door that should’ve been locked had not impinged their progress, and now lay closed, but unlocked, behind them. In front of them was now another door. It was smaller, but sturdier, and it was where the important items on exhibition were usually placed. At this moment, it hosted Sol.

Rodríguez was still standing behind Torao and Minami. Was he backing them up or was he suspicious of them? Jacques glanced behind him, but they could not tell if it was at them or Rodríguez. Perhaps both. He turned to face the door once again, took out a card, and swiped it on an electronic lock. A beep signalised its success. A clack was heard, and the door was unlocked.

Or so Torao and Minami thought, because Jacques didn’t even try to open it and promptly started to pick a mechanical lock that they hadn’t even noticed. 

“The security is quite high, but I’m surprised that there’s no guards around," Torao whispered.

“They either took care of them… or they themselves are guards. That Jacques had a key card and knew of the double lock. This is definitely well planned," Minami whispered back, “I wonder why they even let us in on this. Louisa is one thing, since she thinks we have Do and Re, but these two shouldn’t know that.”

A second clack echoed across the room and interrupted Minami’s line of thought. The door looked heavy, and it didn't move or make a noise when Jacques started trying to pull it open. 

“Hey, you two. Are you gonna help or are you planning on just staring at me working like a mule?” Jacques huffed at them as he stopped pulling at the door and ran his hand through his hair.

Torao and Minami shared a glance. “I’ll do it,” said Torao as he rolled his sleeves up, “move aside.”

Torao put his weight into it. He really tried his best, using all energy and strength his corporeal form offered him.

But to no avail.

The door didn’t even budge slightly, not a millimetre.

“Huh?" Rodríguez stepped forward. “How weak _are_ you?”

The second thief also tried his luck pulling at the door handle. He even put his foot against the wall for extra leverage and for extra strength.

But even for him it didn’t go well. The door remained closed.

“That’s one hell of a door," Jacques mumbled.

“Excuse me," Minami said. He had mostly been ignored by the two of them now, the attention mostly on Torao, perhaps because of his more physically fit looks. It would likely prove useful in the future of their mission, but even if the attention-divide between them was going to grow smaller, he couldn’t take it anymore, “may I try?”

“Pfft, is your girlfriend stronger than you?" Rodríguez said, still slightly out of breath from his try. He elbowed Torao in the side and winked at him. The familiarity was uncomfortable. Was it fake? Or was Rodríguez just an uncomfortable man by default?

Why did it have to be the two of them, who were least practically experienced with human affairs of the current time, have to deal with something like this?

Torao blinked at Rodríguez confusedly. “I don’t have a girlfriend?" he said. It sounded like a question.

“Rodríguez-san meant me," Minami said calmly, “I apologize to inform and disappoint you that I’m actually not his girlfriend. Or any kind of ‘girl-‘.”

With these words he lightly pushed against the door.

It opened smoothly.

“…”

“…”

“…”

Ignoring what had just happened, the four (two) thieves (and the two double agents) entered the room housing Sol.

The only light source was the dim light streaming in through the crack of the door that they left open.

Even in the low light, Sol shone. A fascinating shade of purple. It seemed to glow from within the gem. It really was big. 

“’Kay," Rodríguez whispered. Somehow all the volume inside this room had to be dropped in awe of the treasure in front of them, “here’s the plan: The two of us crack the bling open, and the two of you are on watch.”

“Roger," Torao whispered back. He and Minami took position at the door, facing each other, so that one could watch the door and one could watch the thieves.

Even though Torao was supposed to watch the door he kept turning his head around to look at Sol.

It _was_ beautiful, Minami had to admit, though he wasn’t as entranced by it as his partner in crime against crime.

A series of _ting_ s signalled that Jacques and Rodríguez had begun their work on the display case.

“Quit your rubbernecking," Minami whispered.

“But it looks so beautiful.”

“I’m well aware. Do you want to change positions?”

“…nah, I’m good.”

A moment of silence passed between them.

“I wonder how Haruka and Touma are doing," Torao said then, “there’s no sound from the competition here.”

“They will be fine," Minami assured.

“Guess you’re right. Our Haruka would never fail something like a human singing competition. He never fails the angelic ones already.”

“The fact that of all things earth offers we adopted singing competitions seems slightly ridiculous," Minami mumbled, but he had to agree that Haruka wouldn’t fail. He threw a pointed look over Torao’s shoulder, in direction of Jacques and Rodríguez.

“Isn’t it unusual?" he asked, “they trust us to watch their backs? What if we overwhelmed them from behind right now?”

“That’d stop the robbery in an instant…" Torao mused, “but it’s also boring.”

“Maybe they have something in store for us," Minami offered, “a trap of some sorts?”

“I guess we won’t know until we try, huh?”

In the meantime, Haruka had almost finished singing his song. Touma had been watching him all the time, making sure nothing bad happened.

“Is this how a father feels watching their child?” he asked himself. But as he was enjoying the performance, his worries for Torao and Minami grew by the minute. At the same time he also tried to keep an eye on Louisa. He didn’t exactly know what their plan was (or Torao’s and Minami’s, for that matter) but he was confident in his skills should push come to shove.

Haruka’s song ended and the audience clapped their hands.

“Bravo, bravo!” Louisa did as well and approached him. “That was wonderful, boy. You really impressed me, I wasn’t expecting this. I apologise for having underestimated you," she laughed behind an opened fan that she was now holding.

“Th-thanks," Haruka seemed genuinely happy about the praise.

“Aww…” Touma smiled.

“Now then, my boy, if there is nothing else you want to say, let’s give the stage to our next contestant.”

“Oh no," Touma quickly waved his hands around, trying to catch Haruka’s attention. After he did, he tried to tell him to buy more time. Haruka seemed to understand and nodded.

“U-uhm… actually… can I… talk about why I’m here tonight?” he looked at Louisa.

“Of course you can!”

“Well… so…” he started thinking, “it’s because of my dad.”

“Awww…” resounded in the audience.

“You see, he…” Haruka remembered a word that he read about in a music book before and decided to use it. “He has dipsomania," he said.

Little did he know that he didn’t mean dipsomania, the abnormal craving for alcohol, but discomania, an obsession for disco music.

Now, gasping resounded among the crowd. Except for Touma, he didn’t know what that word meant.

“Boy… is that true?” Louisa put a hand on Haruka’s shoulder.

“Yes! So he asked me to come here and win for him," he explained. People whispered to each other, Touma still didn’t know what was going on.

“You poor thing, so he forced you to compete?”

“Uhm… not exactly, no?”

“Did he tell you to say that?”

“Huh? No, he---“

“It’s okay," she put her arms around him, “everything will be okay, we’ll take care of it later.”

“O-okay…?” now Haruka was confused as well.

“Tora, Mina, I don’t know what you’re doing right now but hurry up. I feel like something bad just happened," Touma whispered to himself, observing how Louisa continued to hug Haruka.

Just as Torao was about to jump at the thieves, Minami stopped him.

“Wait a second, Torao. I’ve been thinking.”

“Yeah?”

“Doesn’t the jewel feel strange to you?”

“What do you mean? It’s a beautiful…” he took another look, “hmm, now that you mention it. What kinda jewel is it?”

“Exactly. Gems are normally cut in a specific shape, but… Sol’s formlessness strikes me as odd.”

“Maybe that’s its appeal?” he suggested.

“If you say so…” Minami wasn’t convinced yet.

“In any case, let’s go. It’s now or never, this is the best shot we have. On the count of three.”

“Understood.”

“One… two… three!”

Torao and Minami lunged at the thieves. Torao targeted Jacques, who instantly warned Rodríguez and gripped his tools tightly as if they were weapons, ready for the upcoming fight. Rodríguez dropped his tools instead and rummaged inside his pocket. As Minami arrived beside him, he took out some kind of liquid and sprayed it on Minami’s face. Minami was startled and breathed in by reflex. He managed to put Rodríguez on a lock, but then started to feel sluggish.

“Woah, this stuff Miss Louisa gave me works wonders!” 

“I sure… would love to have some… handcuffs…” Minami murmured as he struggled to keep Rodríguez on check, when he felt oddly attuned to the clothing bracelet on his wrist. The sleeve of his blouse broke back down to stripes of paper, which coiled around Rodríguez’s wrists, poofed, and turned into handcuffs.

“I see… That’s… convenient…” Minami murmured and passed out.

As Haruka stepped off the stage, he looked at the bracelet on his wrist. It wasn’t doing anything, but he felt more aware of it now compared to seconds ago. He turned to look at Touma, who was also staring at his wrist.

“Touma, didn’t that feel super weird?”

“Oh, Haru. Good job up on stage, it was awesome.”

“Of course!” Haruka crossed his arms and grinned. 

“So you felt that too? I wonder if Tora and Mina are okay…”

“Yeah… I trust them but I’m worried. Wanna go and check?”

“Sounds good," Touma nodded, “my turn isn’t coming anytime soon either.”

Touma peeked at Louisa on stage, trying to see whether she would notice them leaving or not, when he heard her announce the next contestant.

“And our next contestant today is going to be Touma! Please, come up on stage!”

“Huh?”

“Wow, so much for your turn not being soon…”

“It wasn’t! I swear it wasn’t! I don’t know what’s going on!”

“Well, I’ll wait for you here so go quickly and set that stage on fire!”

“You bet I will!”

Touma confidently stepped on the stage and Louisa started asking him questions.

“So, say, Touma, are you friends with the previous contestant Haruka?”

“Yes! Haru and I are good friends!”

“But today you are rivals. Did he tell you anything before you came on stage?”

“He told me to set the stage on fire, and that’s literally what I’m gonna do!”

“Oh my, let’s hope it’s not too literal. It wouldn’t be nice if Haruka’s friend turned out to be a pyromaniac.”

“A pyro-what?”

“Nevermind, Touma. Good luck with your performance!” 

“Thanks!”

Luckily, Touma had always enjoyed listening to human music. Even though he might not understand everything they were saying, since talking about human problems was pretty out of touch for immortals like angels were, he still knew a song or two.

Haruka backstage nodded when Touma inhaled. They had listened to music and sung together with him when they were sitting on their favourite cloud often. Touma _got_ this. Though… what was going on with the other two?

“Minami!" Torao called, but Minami on the floor didn’t move an inch. Was he even breathing anymore? Did they _need_ to breathe? He was struggling to keep Jacques in checques. But it wasn’t easy to fight tools with his bare hands. “Minami, this isn’t funny, open your eyes!”

Rodríguez meanwhile had regained his composure and was grabbing Minami now.

He kept the dazed angel up by utilizing the handcuffs that Minami had put on him. Torao could see the chain dig into Minami’s skin.

“Stop what you’re doing right now!" Rodríguez called. “Or I’ll kill your companion!”

Torao froze. He… didn’t know if they could die at all. But in this situation, they were effectively human… He really didn’t want to be the one to fill out all the paperwork if he accidentally got Minami’s soul sent to kingdom come. In this moment of carelessness, Jacques hit him over the head with a comically large wrench.

_“Who even takes such a large wrench to a subtle job like this?”_ Torao thought while the world tilted.

When he came to, he was back to back with Minami, their wrists tied with zip ties.

“How cliché," Torao mumbled. Minami was still strangely limp against his back, but he was moving – he was at least awake again.

“Fufu," his voice was hoarse, “what a peculiar situation we found ourselves in.”

“Don’t strain yourself," Torao whispered back, “I’ll figure something out.”

“Ah, sure you will," since Torao couldn’t see his face, Torao had to guess what Minami was feeling by his voice. Right now he sounded like he’d be drifting off again soon. “Always a hero… Torao.”

The thieves were nowhere in sight. Torao wondered if they really left them unsupervised.

“What is this redolence…? Perfume?" Minami whispered.

“Huh? I don’t smell anything.”

“Maybe it wasn’t anything then…”

“What is the meaning of this?" a familiar voice spat. It sounded strangely distorted.

Jacques and Rodríguez stepped out behind a wall. They were holding an old-fashioned walkie-talkie, and Louisa’s voice was coming out of it.

“Saruo and Unami are traitors?! How could it have come to this?”

“We’ve got them tied up though," Jacques said, “nothing to worry about.”

“Nothing to worry? It messed up our time schedule! You were supposed to be over and done with this by the time the break hit! I was going to ‘faint’ right after and with the ambulance I’d have smuggled Sol out of this shitty City Hall. And now you’re telling me that you won’t finish because you got caught by what? Magic? Really?”

“I’m telling you," Rodríguez protested, “his sleeve turned into damn handcuffs! There’s no key, I can’t get them off. We don’t have tools to cut steel either.”

“Bullshit! You’ve snorted some weird stuff again, didn’t you?”

“No!”

“I don’t have time for this!" Louisa said exasperatedly. “The rapping idiot is almost done!”

Rapping idiot… that sounded like someone Torao knew. He decided to take a gamble.

“Hey, Louisa!" he called. The thieves perked up. Only now they noticed that he was awake again.

Louisa must’ve heard him. “Saruo? she asked, surprised.

“Miss Louisa… I thought you were a beautiful rose… But it seems you are nothing more than chickweed.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Ah, ah," Minami joined in. He had regained full consciousness now. With a tap on Torao’s wrist he signalled him to be patient. “No time for that, no? Your show is calling.”

“I’m coming over. In the break. And then I’ll. End. You.”

Louisa didn’t specify which one of the four present men she meant.

Before the static cut off, Torao could hear applause and a familiar voice thanking the audience.

“Thank you!!” Touma bowed down to the audience’s applause. “Thank you!”

“My, that was… delightful," Louisa approached him, “I didn’t take you for the type to rap like that.”

“Heh, yeah I hear that often.”

“Liar," Haruka whispered to himself, standing among the crowd now. At the same time, he turned his head to the direction in which Torao and Minami had disappeared into before. They were still not back and Haruka was starting to get _really_ worried about them. He stared at Touma and did the same thing Touma had done to him before. “Sorry Touma, hang in there," he whispered again and dashed off towards where the other two were.

Touma opened his mouth in disbelief, but he knew he now had a mission to fulfil. Stall as much time as possible.

“Thank you very much, Touma. Well then, let’s---“

“P-please wait a second, Miss Louisa!”

“What is it?”

“Uhh… there’s…” his gaze moved around the hall to try and find something that could give him a hint. There were a lot of different people in the audience, Christmas decorations hanging on the walls, a long table with food and drinks – seeing the snacks made him somewhat hungry and he swallowed – and much more. But since nothing helped him out, he just spurted out the first thing that came to mind. “There’s a… custom in our family…”

“Yes?”

“We all like to… sing together. We do it all the time. But after we’re done, there’s something we need to do. It’s like a tradition," he explained.

“Oh, tell me more," Louisa smiled a false smile, “ _why did all the morons decide to gather here tonight of all times?”_ she thought to herself and hoped the rapping idiot’s explanation wouldn’t take that long. She was soon proved wrong.

On the other side of the building, Minami and Torao were still being held captive.

“Do we wait for Miss Louisa?” Jacques asked.

“We probably should," Rodríguez answered.

“She’s scary when she’s angry…”

“Excuse me?” Minami interrupted them.

“What!?”

“I’m sorry that it turned out like this, but we had a reason to do it.”

“Oh yeah?” Jacques approached them.

“Indeed," Minami nodded.

“He’s right. You see, there’s this organization…” Torao started explaining.

“The Radiotherapist’s Gathering for the Common Good," Minami said.

“…yes, that. RGCG for short.”

“Radios need therapies too?” Jacques asked.

“You dumbass, that’s not it. It’s a therapy transmitted through the radio, right?” Rodríguez ‘corrected’ him. Torao raised an eyebrow in confusion, but Minami continued with the story.

“You’re absolutely right. And you must know, they need donations to keep themselves above water," he continued.

“And we _really_ wanted to help them out," Torao took over, “so, why don’t we forget this happened? We help you out? We don’t hand you over to the police, we apportion the loot and everyone goes home happy.”

“Hmm…” the two thieves started thinking.

“You in?”

“How do we know you won’t attack us anymore?” Jacques asked.

Torao clicked his tongue without making any sound. “ _That didn’t fly. I guess they’re not that stupid,”_ he thought, but said the complete opposite, “after being defeated like this, how could we possibly think we can attack you successfully?”

“Indeed. We have realised our inferiority. Right now, we just want the little money you guys will share with the RGCG," Minami said.

The two thieves exchanged a glance, and Jacques remembered something important. “Deal. We’ll let you guys out. But on one condition.”

Torao and Minami looked up at the thieves.

“You must take Rodríguez’ handcuffs off.”

“Oh, that won’t be a problem, right Unami?”

“...”

“Unami?” Torao tried to look at Minami but he could only see his legs and part of his body, and a slight seashell-colored something Torao guessed was his hair. He couldn’t see his expression, which was expected, so he shifted his attention to the mysterious bracelet. _“Right,”_ he thought, _“it was this thing. And we don’t know how it works.”_

“Oh? Cat got your tongue?”

“What cat?”

“Rodríguez, you idiot, it’s just something you say!”

“Shut up, you’re the one who didn’t know what radiotherapy was…”

“Anyway, I see you guys don’t wanna fess up, huh? I guess we’ll just leave you here and find something to cut these off.”

At that moment, Torao felt Minami moving behind him, and he received another oddly comforting tap on his wrist. “Please, wait a moment," Minami said.

“I was just considering how to say this, as it’s slightly complicated,” he continued, “but I’m sure you will understand, since you guessed the truth already.”

“The truth?” 

“That’s right. It was magic," Minami nodded and added confidently, “I am a magician.”

Torao was surprised, and it showed on his face. The thieves noticed, but took it as Minami revealing something he shouldn’t have revealed. Jacques even gasped.

“The magic to create the handcuffs was complicated, it casted fast only because I had prepared it in advance, in case something happened. To resolve it, I will need you to aspirate 4.10 milligrams of the trial drug Z00-L, sing a 5 minute rap song under the moonlight and go to sleep in a hot spring for 4 hours and 33 minutes, not one more, not one less," Minami listed a bunch of conditions as quickly as possible. “Of course, there is a quicker method, but I would have to cast a spell, and I would need to be untied first.”

“Hm… do you want to believe him?”

“I dunno. Didn’t we believe them lots already?”

“But the handcuffs were really magic! I saw it.”

“Magic doesn’t exist though?”

“It does," Minami said. His voice was determined. “It–“

He was interrupted by the door slamming open. The terrifying silhouette of a furious Louisa appeared in the doorframe. She had something (someone?) in tow.

“Why is it so dark in here?" she asked, “just use the light switch, we booked the entire Hall for a reason. There are no windows in this room anyway.”

She flicked on the light, blinding the two thieves and the angels still bound to each other.

Now they could also see what Louisa was casually holding with one hand.

Haruka was struggling against the grip on his arm, but to no avail.

“Let me go you hag!" he hissed through gritted teeth.

“I found a little rat snooping around~" she sing-songed. “And for you lot I took a premature break! What will I do with my Louisa persona when this show gets bad reviews on top of me having to go to the hospital?!”

“Oh god, they caught him," Torao mumbled.

“Does that mean Touma is our only hope right now?" Minami mumbled back.

“No, I have an idea," Torao mumbled.

“Torao, all your ideas of the last few hours have led to us being tied to each other back to back.”

“This is a good one, I swear.”

Torao cleared his throat. “Hey Fa!" he called. “Did they catch you?”

It only took Minami a heartbeat to catch onto Torao’s thought.

“We agreed to stay undercover, Mi," he complained loudly, “now our cover has been blown. Just when I came up with that wonderful magician story.”

“Does it matter now, La?" Torao asked.

Haruka, still in Louisa’s grip had caught on. They were lucky that it was the smart boy they had gotten into this predicament.

“What?" Rodríguez asked.

“Why’re they calling each other the jewel names?" Jacques’ stance relaxed completely in his confusion.

“Silly," Minami said and smiled up to them, “that’s of course because we _are_ the jewels.”

“That’s right. And we’re here today to get our vessels back… and to save our brother from falling into your dirty hands as well," Torao added.

“I don’t believe in magic knick-knack," Louisa said. She tried crossing her arms, but poor Haruka was still attached to the arm, so she couldn’t.

“But Miss Louisa!" Rodríguez said. “This Unami guy, or La, or whatever, actually did some magic and now I’m handcuffed!”

“Bullshit!" Louisa said. “How would that work?”

“I turned my sleeve into handcuffs using the crystal magic inherent to my being as a gem spirit.”

“See! His sleeve is actually gone!”

Louisa took a step forward, and dragged Haruka along, but before she could actually take a look at Minami’s missing sleeve, the door banged open again.

“Are you guys okay?!" Touma called loudly.

“Oh no," Minami mumbled.

“Hi!" Torao said. “We’re good, about to overthrow our kidnappers. What about you, Ti?”

“Ti?" Touma asked.

“Don’t worry Ti," Haruka from Louisa’s hold said. He had been listening, to get a better understanding of the situation so far, but now he was ready to join in on the action, “we can drop our covers. Mi and La revealed our identities.”

“Ah, our identities. So it’s like that, huh.”

For anyone with a trained eye it would be perfectly obvious that Touma was not only pretending to know what was going on, but that he was also terrible at it. Luckily for them neither Louisa nor Jacques and Rodríguez were particularly good at judging someone’s acting ability, and they weren’t focusing on him very much either.

“Look at him, Louisa," Haruka said now. He was wearing a very dangerous grin as he was looking at her from down below where she was holding him, “haven’t you seen Ti before? That colour? Like a boysenberry’s fruit? In a gemstone perhaps?”

Realisation dawned on Louisa’s face.

“…Ti?" she whispered.

“That’s right!" Haruka laughed evilly. He was really good at this. He seemed to be having fun. “That’s the gem spirit Ti! The strongest of all! Go on Ti! Call us!”

Touma still looked a little lost, but Haruka had given him pretty clear instructions.

“I call you, my comrades!" he said. “Gem spirits unite!”

“Waku waku," Torao said, “this is almost like a leader calling his hero group!”

“Please never say this again," Minami said lowly, and then, loudly proclaimed, “I, La, call forth a mighty weapon, using the power of the seven seas! Seashore Blade!”

This time it was Torao’s sleeve which broke back down into stripes of paper that formed a ball, and then something longer. Scissors, highly durable ones.

“Hurry, Fa!" Minami called. “Free us!”

Haruka finally managed to come free from Louisa’s grip, and dashed towards Torao and Minami. He quickly grabbed the scissors and with a single _snap_ their wrists were finally free.

“They’re really magic!" Rodríguez called. “I told you! The same thing happened with the handcuffs!”

“Uwah," Jacques said, “I wonder if they have umbilici…”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I heard spirits don’t have them!”

“Why does that matter in any way?" Louisa said. “Get them! They won’t stop me from stealing this gem!”

The four angels had gathered in front of the door now.

“Huh, so the bracelets were our hero gadgets!" Torao said. “How convenient.”

“They absolutely are _not_ Torao, please get your mind on track," Minami said.

The four angels were facing Louisa and her two henchmen who were slowly closing in.

“Wh-what now?” Touma asked.

“Don’t worry, I have a pl---“

“Oh dear here we go again…” Minami sighed at Torao’s next upcoming plan.

“…” Torao cleared his throat, took one step forward and breathed in. He moved his hands around, mimicking the motions of his favourite hero show’s protagonist when he was about to transform into his hero suit. Haruka’s eyes sparkled in excitement, really getting into his role. The two thieves stopped and froze on the spot, unsure as to what was about to happen.

“What are you---“ Louisa wanted to ask, but was quickly interrupted.

“I, who stand in the twilight’s brilliance, wander between light and darkness. Thy malice shall be judged upon the heaven’s wrath and show thee thy wildest nightmares. By the name of the Sacred Mi! Cower in fear! Somnum Exterreri!” he uttered loudly and stretched out his hand skywards.

As if on cue, his bracelet started shining and blinded the thieves for a short moment, but Louisa managed to hide her face behind her fan in the last moment. At the same time, one of Haruka’s sleeves broke back down into stripes, swirled around in the air for a bit, formed a rectangular object and landed in the hand which Torao was still holding up.

As the light subdued, everyone moved their gazes to Torao’s stretched out hand, waiting for him to reveal the new mighty tool to fight off the thieves.

“Haha!” he laughed. “Now you can’t do anything against us anymore. Not with the power of…” he lowered his arm and looked at the object he was holding, “…the power of math on our side?”

“What?” Touma asked in confusion while Minami only sighed and buried his face in one of his hand.

“It’s a multiplication table… Like, on an actual wooden board…” Torao explained, not quite understanding why he was holding something like that. Louisa started giggling and then burst out laughing.

“Hahaha! And here I thought you would do something worthwhile. You make me laugh---“

“Ahhhhhhhhh!!” Jacques shrieked out and cowered down in fear.

“Wh-what!?” Louisa startled.

“Jacques, are you okay?!” Rodríguez turned to his buddy, but Jacques only replied with sobbing and trembling.

“What is the meaning of this? What did you do!?” she hissed at Torao and the others.

“I, uhh…” Torao was confused, but it seemed like Minami understood and stepped next to him.

“It seems your little underling is terribly afraid of math," he observed. Touma and Haruka gasped out loud.

“…I don’t like math either…” Haruka whispered.

“It must be horrifying for that guy…” Touma added.

“This is ridiculous!” Louisa exclaimed infuriated.

“Don’t make light of other people’s fears, no matter how irrational they are.”

“La is right," Torao said and looked at her, “so, what’re you gonna do now?”

Louisa didn’t answer. The situation was not good for her. Without interferences, Sol would have been in her hands by now, and people wouldn’t have noticed it was missing until the following morning. Even then, the ones that would get charged with the crime would be Jacques and Rodríguez. When the… gem spirits asked for cooperation, she’d quickly thought to pin the crime on them and keep Jacques and Rodríguez for a while longer, but everything backfired spectacularly. 

“Damn it!” Louisa cursed, seemingly without any ideas left. Sol was still in the exhibition case, Rodríguez was handcuffed and consoling Jacques, who was still unresponsive, and she was outnumbered by people (spirits) who were blocking the entrance.

“So… What now?” Haruka asked after a while.

“Maybe we should call the police?” Touma suggested.

“The protectors of the citizenry?” Haruka added, excited.

“That seems like a good idea, but we do not have any means to contact th-”

Minami stopped talking and turned to Louisa. Her phone was buzzing. She took it out and when she saw the caller her face paled. Her hands trembled as she took the call.

“This is Yellow-eyed junco. Antarctic tern, sir, I…”

Torao inhaled sharply. 

“The final boss is here.”

“... Yes, the final boss is here. I think we should try and get that phone to call the police," Minami sighed and suggested, “Touma, Torao, can you jump at her when I give the signal?” he asked in a whisper, and the two nodded.

“That’s what a phone looks like? It’s… small," Haruka commented, “I read that they were big, then became small, and now are getting bigger again. How small must they have been?”

“Yes, sir. I’ll wait for you, sir," Louisa hung up the call and let out a breath.

“Now!” Minami yelled and watched as Touma and Torao, still holding the multiplication table, ran towards Louisa.

“Ahhhhhh!” Jacques was on the floor, backing away from Torao, and he hit the exhibition case with a dangerous amount of force.

“Shit," Rodríguez said. Sol was safe, but Rodríguez was worried about something else.

An alarm started ringing. They were discovered.

“I guess we don’t have to call the police anymore…?”

Touma and Torao continued running towards Louisa, regardless. She backed up and yelled at Rodríguez for help, who abandoned the shuddering Jacques and tried to neutralise Torao.

“If I can just get that stupid board…!”

Minami saw the situation had become a two versus two, so after warning Haruka to guard the door, he rushed at Rodríguez.

“Stupid Minami… I wanted to go too…” Haruka complained but still stayed put by the door.

After a while, three police officers appeared in the room. Louisa and Jacques were tied up with zip ties Torao had found in the latter’s pocket. The multiplication table was on the floor, and the three angels were now overpowering the handcuffed Rodríguez.

“What’s going on here?” one of them asked, but answered himself. “Woah! It’s the actors from before! Are they shooting a movie now?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not it, Yotsuba-san…”

“We were participating in the Grand Prix when we found that the old hag was planning to steal Sol! So we followed her and thwarted her plans! How is it? Amazing, right?” Haruka said proudly.

“Woah! Amazing!” ‘Yotsuba-san’ answered.

“Hehe."

“Izumi, Yotsuba,” the last policeman started talking, “arrest these four… actors.”

“What?!” Haruka exclaimed.

“Yes, sir," ‘Iorin’ moved to follow his superior’s orders.

Louisa had raised her head when she heard the last policeman. “Antarctic tern, sir…” she murmured.

“Huh?" Torao called. “No way! There’s gotta be a mistake here! _We’re_ supposed to be the good guys! We caught a jewel thief!”

“Oh, very clever," the third policeman said. On closer inspection he was apparently of a higher rank than the previous two, as he was wearing a different and definitely cooler uniform. “Very proficient swindlers we have here.”

“Hey, Ban-chan, I really don’t get it," ‘Yotsuba-san’ said, “can you explain?”

“Of course," a smirk appeared on ‘Ban-chan’s’ face, “this whole evening is a set-up. Our double agent Louisa received some insider information about someone trying to steal Sol tonight and set out to cross their plans. I supported her from the shadows, providing her with some tools and mixtures, so she could protect herself. We even let her hire some thugs for the pretend-coup.”

He pointed at Jacques and Rodríguez. The two looked just as confused as the angels felt, even below the fear still radiating off of Jacques. The multiplication table was close.

“And these underachievers outnumbered Louisa and Co. and didn’t manage to finish our agents off. Pathetic.”

“I believe you are the one misunderstanding something," Minami said. He was handcuffed now, like the other three as well. ‘Iorin’ was doing good work. “The four of us are the spirits of the gems already stolen. My name is La, I–“

“For a jewel thief you’re way too uninformed," ‘Ban-chan’ snorted, “the other jewels haven’t been stolen! They’re safe with the police. We caught all your little friends when they tried stealing them.”

‘Iorin’ furrowed his brow. “Sir, I never heard of–“

“Yackety-yak!" Louisa called. “Cut me loose! I caught the thieves; I demand I be treated accordingly!”

“Sure thing," ‘Yotsuba-san’ said and went over to free her from the containments. And Torao had been so proud of himself when he figured out how the damn zip ties worked.

The angels were led to a police van and were seated in the back, ‘Iorin’ sat with them, while ‘Yotsuba-san’ and ‘Ban-chan’ took the front together with Louisa and her lackeys. The engine roared as they took off.

“I can’t believe we got arrested…" Touma mumbled.

“I can’t believe we got arrested!" Haruka said. He looked excited.

“They’re lying," Torao said, “there’s something fishy about the story."

“Yes," Minami nodded, “we were fake jewel thieves to begin with. If all jewel thieves present were fake, then who is the actual jewel thief?”

“Man, I thought for sure that you’d say, ‘then who's flying the plane’ right there," Touma said.

“What?”

“What?”

“Anyway," Haruka said, “I think there’s something fishy about it too. Maybe they were staging the whole thing? To get money or something?”

A sigh interrupted them.

“Months on months of work," ‘Iorin’ said, “and you four actors storm in and ruin everything.”

“Huh?" Touma asked. “Are _you_ the real jewel thief?!”

“No," ‘Iorin’ said, “but apparently I am the only policeman with an ounce of intelligence in this city, because _I_ am the _only one_ who noticed our police chief’s corruption.”

“What!?” Torao exclaimed.

“So the police chief is the actual mastermind behind everything?” Minami asked silently.

“There’s no need to whisper, they can’t hear us from the front," ‘Iorin’ sighed once again, “but yes, he is. I was approached by a certain organization one day because they suspected our chief to be involved in shady business.”

“This is getting wilder by the second," Touma said.

“So cool I know right!?” Haruka got even more excited.

“You were the only one to notice anything beside that organization? What about your partner?” Minami asked.

“No. I’ve known Yotsuba-san since our high school days. He not only was a nominee for most oblivious student every year, he also won that… title, three consecutive times.”

“How the hell did he become a policeman then?” Torao inquired.

“His physical check-up results were extraordinarily outstanding.”

“…I see.”

“In any case, we need to move to plan f.”

“F?” Torao was surprised at how many plans ‘Iorin’ had thought of.

“Yotsuba-san is wearing a secret earpiece, I’ll try to communicate," he put a hand to his ear and started talking, “Yotsuba-san, can you hear me?”

“Genitive," they heard a faint Yotsuba-san from Iorin’s earpiece.

“It’s ‘positive’.”

“That.”

“Prepare for plan f.”

“Roger.”

Yotsuba-san cut the call.

“I hope he remembers which one was plan f…” Iorin sighed.

In the front, ‘Ban-chan’ was driving, despite him being everyone’s superior. It made a lot of sense, though, as letting Yotsuba-san drive was very likely to lead to one’s demise. Louisa was riding shotgun, and she kept peeking at the driver, probably worried about her failure. Behind her was Yotsuba-san, and she heard him whisper softly.

“Yotsuba-san, was it? Did you say something just now?” Louisa asked.

“Mm? Ah, I just really wanna eat some pudding. I can’t remember if I finished the one at the office. Ban-chan, do you remember?”

“You should still have one left," ‘Ban-chan’ answered.

“Eehh, with only one it’s only enough for one snack. Can we stop by to buy more?”

In the back, the four angels were excited about the policeman’s plan. Some were looking forward to it more than others, though.

“So, Iorin, is that organisation… a hero organisation?”

“... No?” the policeman answered, unsure where that question even came from. “And my name is Iori, Izumi Iori.”

“No heroes, huh…”

“Anyway, the organisation apparently has some evidence that points to the chief. The problem is that it is definitely not enough to bring him down," Izumi Iori ignored Torao's disappointment and continued talking, "the plan was to gather more information today and if possible catch him red-handed. That's not possible anymore but we have another opportunity: Louisa probably isn't a double agent. She probably has a criminal record too, she shouldn't be a first timer at thievery."

"Why would he protect her by saying that then? Wouldn't linking her to crime link him to crime as well?" Touma asked.

"He didn't have a choice, Touma," Minami answered, "because Iorin-san was there. He could probably fool Yotsubasan-san, but if he didn't explain Louisa's existence Iorin-san would notice something wrong and suspect him. Of course, he probably doesn't know the organisation contacted him. He might not even know it exists."

"Then why not lock her up too?" Haruka asked.

"I'm not sure," Iori answered, "but Ogami-san probably was caught off guard by you guys as well. Louisa should have some dirt on him so he has to cover for her until he gets rid of the evidence."

"Are you sure they aren't heroes?"

"Torao…"

"I am pretty sure, yes," Iori was starting to get used to Torao's shenanigans and no longer paid too much attention to him, "I didn't know, though, that the Seven Seas were at the police station. They are important pieces of heritage, after all, so Ogami-san should have returned them to the museums when he caught their thieves, at least on the surface."

"He might have kept them until he had all seven with the excuse of keeping them safe," Minami suggested.

"And once he has all seven, BAM! He only needs to pretend they got stolen, get fired for negligence and happily run away with the Seven Seas," Torao added.

"..." Iori stared at Torao, "you know, that kind of makes sense."

"But he drew an unlucky lot and met us there. We won't let him get away with this!" Torao continued.

"Yeah!" Haruka agreed. 

“Alright," ‘Iorin’ (even though they knew his actual name now it was hard to let go of the nickname they had all collectively accepted as his essence now) said, “I will explain plan f now. Luckily for you it involves actions that I can outsource to you. It’ll make things easier for me, and it will show your innocence in the case. Time to shine for our heroic actors. If there are any queries at the end, please ask away.”

He obviously knew what he was doing, because he was catering to Torao with his mention of heroics.

The plan was… quite simple for a plan f, that must have had a plan a, b, c, d, _and_ e before it. Maybe it really was the last instance. ‘Iorin’ would get ‘Ban-chan’ to confess his crimes and catch it on camera. His partner was to pretend that he needed a break and livestream ‘Ban-chan’s confession to their superior, who happened to be in town to celebrate Christmas with his family today. Not the best time for contacting him, but crime didn’t sleep, not even on Christmas. The angels were supposed to somehow create confusion for ‘Ban-chan’, so ‘Iorin’ could use his moment of abstraction to confront him.

“I calculated everything. Yotsuba-san will use his pudding stop to run, and we will have about twenty minutes until he arrives. By then the criminals should already be in cells and being questioned. I will conduct the interrogations together with Ogami-san. It will be a walk in the park to create a distraction right then and there.”

“If we’re in cells, how can we walk in a park?," Touma asked.

He was ignored.

The car stopped and ‘Yotsuba-san’ jumped out.

“Be right back! You guys go ahead!" he waved. “Maaan, I’m so lucky shops are still open… Pudding, pudding~~”

They could hear him through the earpiece. As soon as he had disappeared behind a corner and was out of sight, his tone of voice in the transmission changed. “On my way now, Iorin. The boss’ house isn’t far. I’ll run.”

“Very well," ‘Iorin’ answered, “you heard him, actors. We will proceed.”

The drive to the police station was quiet. They were brought into the only cell at the small town station, and then taken away for the interrogations separately.

“Look," ‘Iorin’ had said before they arrived, “all of you are actors, correct? He will try and make you admit to doing something. Do not answer any questions directly, unless I give you the signal that the boss is hearing everything, and we need the distraction. Then you may act like a distraction. Before that just… demand to speak to your attorney.”

None of the angels knew what an attorney was, but they didn’t want to ask.

Torao was first to be called in for the interrogation. Next was Touma, then Haruka, and the last one would be Minami.

Haruka returned to the cell when Touma and Minami were busy stifling laughter because of Torao’s retelling of his interrogation. He had told the life story of a fictional person instead of answering the questions ‘Ban-chan’ threw at him.

Torao’s imitation of the exasperated “Alright, that’s enough, thanks” was too funny.

Minami got up. He had an idea. Nothing as creative as Torao’s ‘Saruo’, who was an artificial human, a homunculus, created to serve its master, but had outlived them hundreds of years ago, since then travelling and searching for a new master, heroic enough to be worthy of forming a pact of service with.

It was strange enough to serve as a distraction though, and since he was going to be the last one, he’d need it.

‘Iorin’ nodded when he came into the interrogation room. That was the signal.

“Hello," Minami said without waiting for a question to be asked, “my name is Minami. I am an angel.”

“First a homunculus and now an angel," ‘Ban-chan’ mumbled, “why did it have to be a group of chuunis that I have to convict on Christmas…”

He took a very tired sip from the glass of water on the table in front of him.

“My, how rude," Minami said, “as an angel of course I have observed many mortals not unlike you. I can see their sins, _sense_ their evils," he smiled.

“Aha. So why were you–“

“Yours sparkle, Ogami-san," Minami said, lowering his voice into a threatening whisper, “six crystal voices crying for their brother… Afraid of being stolen by none other than you!”

“Wha–," ‘Ban-chan’ swallowed, “what are you talking abou–“

“Admit it," Iori interrupted, “I’ve caught you red-handed. You’re planning on framing these innocent men and stealing the Seven Seas for yourself. You’ve been preparing this for the last few months, if not longer. Today was the day that you would finally get what you desired. Sol was the last one, the last gem you didn’t have yet, but I will stop you.”

“Ah…" ‘Ban-chan’s face morphed into an evil grimace. “It would’ve been too easy if it all went smoothly, huh?”

Minami realised too late that what ‘Ban-chan’ was holding in his hand was nothing other than a gun.

_Bang_!

The shot rang in his ears.

But it… didn’t hit anything.

“…what?" he mumbled. The door to the interrogation opened, and in came the three other angels, followed by…

“Momo-san?!”

“Bishamonten-sama sent me!" the other angel said. He was looking as cheery as always, not like he had just stepped down to earth in his full angel form and _froze time_ . “At first it was _really_ funny, watching the four of you stumble around, trying to figure out how the human world worked. Yuki and I laughed so much!”

“But look at this," he made a vague gesture with his hands, “look at this _mess_ you got yourself into: You aren’t even here for much longer than a quarter of the time you were supposed to, and you got involved in a jewel heist. _Someone_ got carried away!”

“So what are you gonna do?" Touma asked.

“I’ll take you back. There’ll be some lil’ punishment for Torao because he couldn’t complete the punishment for his bet, but it’s nothing bad, just work for Bishamonten-sama for the rest of the time you were supposed to spend here~”

“Work? Don’t I kinda _always_ work for Bishamonten-sama?”

“Unpaid overtime," Momo shrugged. Torao groaned.

“And what about us?" Haruka asked.

“Nothing, I guess? You’re not on the naughty list yet, Momo-chan’ll dress up as Santa and bring you a present later~" Momo winked, “nothing like Mr. Let’s-Get-Involved-In-A-Very- _Human_ -Jewel-Heist over there.”

Momo rolled his eyes dramatically. “You really messed that up. Using the magic I gave you to summon handcuffs, scissors, and a multiplication table. Seriously! Where is your imagination? That was _so_ not creative!”

“Sorry…" Touma, who hadn’t summoned a single of these things, said.

“You’re forgiven," Momo smiled again and stepped toward the two policemen who were still unmoving. He grabbed the bullet that would be hitting ‘Iorin’ right in the chest and turned it around towards ‘Ban-chan’s leg. He looked at the man frozen in time for a little. “Sorry Ban-san, but this time I have to try and hurt you. Yuki is your guardian angel though, so don’t worry, he’ll _definitely_ save you! He’s too hot to let anything happen to people he protects!”

The other angels were still extremely confused, but before either of them could ask any questions they were back in their usual environment: white clouds, soft and pretty.

“My wings are back!" Haruka flapped them experimentally.

“Mine too! And our halos!" Touma added.

“So this is it, the end of our adventure, fufu.”

“Wait!" Torao said. “Stop. _This_ is the end? We didn’t even get a conclusion!”

“Plan f worked out. Your Iorin was promoted, the evildoers are in prison and the Seven Seas are united and on display forever, now with added security! And everyone lived happily ever after!" Momo winked at them one last time and flew away, undoubtedly, to find his Yuki.

“…hah," Torao sighed, “I guess this is all we get… My chance at finally becoming a hero…”

“Well," Haruka patted Torao’s shoulder, “there’s always a next time.”

“How will there be a next time? For this one I lost a bet…”

“Well, next time you just need to win and demand a trip to the human world as your price?" Minami offered. “I doubt Ebisu-sama knows the weight of an angel feather…”

A new spark lit up in Torao’s eyes.

“Oh no," Touma said.

“Oh _yes_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Try guessing which words were generated! It might be obvious at times, at others not so much.
> 
> If you want to scream at us about anything you can do so on either of our twitter accounts ([Ayumu](https://twitter.com/396Ayumu), [Kai](https://twitter.com/eins_Kai), [Shion](https://twitter.com/ShionsTear)).
> 
> Have a nice day!
> 
> \- Ayumu, Kai and Shion


End file.
